‘Christopher was my wee brother…He was a genuine nice guy.’
In this second part of Christopher’s sepsis story, his older sister Francesca talks about the feelings of Christopher’s wider family, following his tragic loss – at the age of just 38, and four days after his wedding in December 2022.
The Monday prior to his wedding on Thursday 15th December 2022, my brother Christopher had been unwell. He felt like he was suffering from flu symptoms which then led to a sore throat. On Monday 12th, his mummy asked him to phone the doctor before his wedding, as he might need antibiotics. He told her that he would be ok and that he would go to the chemist instead.
The wedding was in a lovely hotel about two hours from Belfast. Christopher and his bride-to-be Danielle went up a few days earlier, on the Tuesday, to prepare. I couldn’t go up until the day of the wedding itself – the Thursday – as my teens had to complete winter exams. I wish now that I could have had more time.
Christopher had got some over the counter medication for his symptoms meanwhile and pushed on through the wedding day.
We now know that on the morning of the wedding he told our brother Paul, the best man, that he felt the worst he had ever felt. I guess he wanted to have the wedding day first before taking time to rest.
We had a lovely day and he made it to the end of the evening but was not able to enjoy his dinner. We were not aware at the time but overnight that night he developed a high temperature for which he took co-codamol. He then developed breathing difficulties. None of us wanted to phone or text to see how he was as it was their wedding night, and we didn’t want to disturb them. At breakfast we were hoping to see them but they didn’t come down, so we thought they were getting room service.
We feel so bad now that whilst we were eating breakfast he was deteriorating in his room. We were eventually told that an ambulance had been called at which point we rushed to see him in his room. He was taken to Coleraine Causeway Hospital on the Friday morning, where it was decided by the doctors that he needed help with his breathing, which was getting worse. They told him he would need to be put into an induced coma in order for his body to rest. At this point it was also established that he had Strep A, pneumonia and a superbug. There were no ICU beds available though and an operating theatre was set up to provide him with the intensive care that he needed. They were trying to stabilise him in order to move to him to the ICU of the Belfast Royal Victoria Hospital.
We were able to see him at this stage and were encouraged to talk to him. It was such a shock to see all the machines and Christopher, lying on his front though. He was then transferred to Belfast on the Saturday, 17th, and we were given a family space. He was being given everything they could to stop his organs from failing and by the Sunday they felt he had improved slightly. But on Monday morning he went into cardiac arrest and could not be resuscitated. This was the last thing that we ever believed could happen – just from having a sore throat. It now affects us each time someone in the family is sick with anything. Our family is broken. Our parents’ grief is unbearable to watch and as siblings, whilst still supporting each other, we are struggling to make sense of it all. We have a missing part in everything we do. His wife and three-year-old son lost so much. And it affects our children too.
We haven’t received any support as a family since this happened. We researched other sepsis charities and did seek out some brief support but nothing was available face to face in our area. That is when we found Sepsis Research FEAT and learnt about the research that the charity does.
We believe passionately in working with charities to help inform the public and health care workers of the symptoms of sepsis. We are horrified that we still hear so many awful stories of families whose lives are torn apart because of this. We want more support in Nothern Ireland and to be able to access some sort of charity here that could provide face to face support. We want more research into why this happens and better, quicker diagnosis and treatments. The whole family are on board now to help raise awareness by working with Sepsis Research FEAT.
Christopher was my wee brother. My sister Maria and brother Paul and I miss him so much and feel lost – siblings share so much and he was a big part of our lives from childhood to adulthood. Our mum and dad have deteriorated so much, struggling with losing their son. His wife and son have coped as best they can.
Christopher loved fast cars, the horses and a wee JD and coke. His team has always been Liverpool, which runs through our family. He had spent time in Australia where he had a ball. He always had friends and his work colleagues thought the world of him. He loved having a family and spending time with his son. He was a genuine nice guy.
We will always strive to remember Christopher and his funny, cheeky ways and to remember all the good times we had.
Our message is to cherish loved ones and not to sweat the small stuff. Grief is a big thing that travels with us and never leaves and we want to raise awareness and get help for others. We want to encourage people to reach out for support and not to suffer in silence.
Life can be full of challenges and it’s about how to deal with these, whilst still finding joy and having little moments along the way.
Charity Comment:
Francesca describes her younger brother Christopher as ‘a genuine nice guy’. The place that Christopher held in the hearts of those who knew, and subsequently lost, him comes across movingly and poignantly in the account that she and her family have kindly shared with Sepsis Research FEAT.
Francesca‘s account illustrates clearly the indiscriminate nature of sepsis – it struck her brother as it did at such a young age, in the prime of his life, with so much to live for and on the week of his wedding. You can read Chris’s widow Danielle’s story of losing her husband here.
Sepsis can arise as the result of any infection – no matter how innocuous it may seem.
It is vital not to ignore warning signs. Seeking urgent medical attention for symptoms that seem worse than the norm and are persisting or rapidly worsening is crucial to improving survival rates and outcomes from this silent, hidden killer.
This charity is so grateful to Francesca and her sister-in-law Danielle and to Christopher’s wider family for all they have done to help raise awareness of sepsis. We wish them all the very best as a family for the future.