‘When I was feeling lethargic or in pain I would tell everyone I was fine, even though I wasn’t. I thought this was normal for a new mum. It was only looking back that I realised that what I had been feeling wasn’t right.’ 

My name is Lorna. I’m 38 years old, and I live in Glasgow with my partner, David, and our six-year-old son. I have been a dental nurse for years, now balancing my job with family life. Sepsis wasn’t something I had ever thought about or something I knew much about. Sepsis came out of the blue at such an important time in our family’s lives and it went on to have long-lasting repercussions. 

I had had a perfect pregnancy with only minor symptoms. Towards the end of my pregnancy – at my 40 week midwife appointment – I was told that my baby (my first) was measuring two weeks over. This was a bit strange as at every other appointment the baby had been measuring as he should have been. 

It got to 40 weeks and 5 days and I went into labour. It was clearly a very new experience for me. When I arrived at the hospital I was having contractions four minutes apart. I was still only 5cm dilated but I had the constant urge to push with the pressure. The decision was taken to give me an epidural. My temperature was spiking so they wheeled in as many fans as they could to cool me down. It made no difference.  My body was trembling – feeling so cold but with a really high temperature. The nurses were giving me paracetamol to reduce my temperature but they were also concerned that I was not passing urine.  

Hours passed and they decided that my baby needed to have a probe on his head to monitor his heart rate.  A few hours later I was finally fully dilated and it was time to push. Sadly, this was not successful and the staff made the decision to take me to theatre to use forceps, or possibly even to perform a c-section, to deliver my baby safely. In theatre they struggled to insert cannulas. I remember the pain of the many places that they had to try but each time were unsuccessful. There was one cannula in particular that was placed in my wrist beside my thumb which was particularly painful, but the doctor said that they couldn’t move it as it was the only one that was working. There was a clear sense of panic in his voice.  

My son was finally born using forceps. I had to have an episiotomy and my contractions had then stopped. I was bleeding a lot and my placenta still had to be delivered manually. At this point I had lost a lot of blood – around 2.2 litres – which the doctor described as his ‘record’ and one that he didn’t want ever to beat. After delivery I had a very quick picture and cuddle with my son but he was showing signs of sepsis and was having problems breathing so he was then taken straight to special care.  

I was taken to high dependency (HDU) meanwhile. I was scared and didn’t know what was happening, alone without my new-born baby to bond with. It was hours later that my son was returned to me with a cannula in his hand so they could administer antibiotics. I was also on IV antibiotics and my urine output via my catheter was being monitored as I wasn’t passing much fluid and they were concerned that there was damage to my kidneys. The next day I was moved into a normal ward where my catheter was removed. 

When I went to pass urine normally – even though I didn’t feel like I had the need to – I lost bladder control and flooded the sample pan and the floor. This meant that I had to have the catheter put back in for another 48 hours to monitor things.  

I had gone from having a nurse constantly at my side in high dependency to being on my own in this new ward with a new baby. I was so scared and anxious and felt so terrible, and I was also trying to breastfeed my newborn. My son was taken to have a chest x-ray to monitor his lungs at which point it turned out that I was not getting the full effect of the antibiotics and the staff decided that they should change what I was being given. Unfortunately, this meant that I was no longer able to breastfeed my son as it wasn’t safe for him.  

After a four day stay in the hospital I was discharged at 9.30 at night. This was traumatic as I had to be shown how to give myself daily injections to prevent blood clots due to my blood loss and it was all so rushed. It was then that I saw the doctor who had delivered my son (the one who had said that 2.2 litres was his ‘record’ for blood loss). He said that he was glad to see me. It was only then sepsis was mentioned.  

Once I was at home my amazing midwife noticed that my womb still hadn’t contracted. She sent me straight back into the maternity unit to be seen. And it was there that they told me that I had another infection and gave me another course of antibiotics.  The following week I started to experience a huge amount of pain from the episiotomy site. The midwife saw this and again she referred me straight back to the hospital. It turned out to be another infection in my wound, and again more antibiotics were prescribed.   

As the months went by – possibly over the course of seven months – I had five different courses of oral anti biotics, over and above the IV antibiotics I had received when I was in hospital.  

When I was feeling lethargic or in pain I would tell everyone I was fine, even though I wasn’t. I thought this was normal for a new mum. It was only looking back that I realised that what I had been feeling wasn’t right. 

Eight months later I received a letter through the door from the physio with a few questions on it about my pelvic floor. There were too many queries on there to answer easily so I thought that I would make an appointment. When I attended the physio appointment the staff were amazing. I had to tell them more of my story and I ended up breaking down. The physio told me that I shouldn’t be feeling as I was and she got me the help I needed.  

I then spoke to a psychologist and the consultant team at the hospital to go through my notes and explain what had actually happened. They also explained to me that I had PTSD and PSS (post sepsis syndrome). I had lost a lot of the memories of the first eight months of my child’s life. It’s only through pictures and having discussed the story with the team at the hospital that I could put the pieces in place. What should have been an amazing thing has also been incredibly traumatic for me.  

I wasn’t ever told what the root cause of my sepsis was, or if I was told I have no memory of it now. 

When I was diagnosed, I didn’t know what sepsis was – it was just a word. Later I told my sisters, who are nurses, and they were shocked. I then did some brief research. It was only over time as I continued to get infections that I did more reading about sepsis and it became an overwhelming worry. 

To this day I do struggle still with PSS. When I become unwell I seem to get things worse or with more complications than I should. I have also been told that as I have had sepsis before I am potentially more at risk of experiencing it again. The fear attached to that can sometimes feel overwhelming when I am unwell. But I listen to my body and get medical advice ASAP.  

I only came across Sepsis Research FEAT a few months ago – I found one of its recent social media posts very relevant to me. I don’t think that sepsis is talked about enough – I didn’t know about it till I had it. I just want other people to know how important it is to listen to your body: if you feel something isn’t right then it probably isn’t and you need to get help. 

Charity Comment: 

Lorna’s story shows clearly how sepsis can arise out of nowhere and have such potentially traumatic and devastating longer-term consequences. 

At a time of her family‘s life that should have been so full of joy, Lorna became very seriously ill and also saw the effects of sepsis on her newborn child.  

Lorna’s advice to trust your instincts and be prepared to speak out as a new mum if you are concerned about your health is so important. 

The issues of post sepsis symptoms and the potential for recurring susceptibility are currently under investigation by teams at the universities of Cambridge and Edinburgh, whose research work this charity supports. You can find out more by visiting the research partners area of the charity’s website here.