For 29-year-oldLeila Echchik from Lancashire a post-natal infection was just the beginning of a sepsis journey that was to have traumatic and far-reaching consequences.
Keen to prevent others from going through a similar experience, she kindly shares her honest and often raw account of her experience and its wider effects here. Some readers may find her account distressing.
I gave birth to my son Archer on February 2nd, 2022, via an elective caesarean section under general anaesthetic. After the surgery, I had bad abdominal pain, but the team told me that it was likely just to be normal post-op pain and constipation. My partner raised concerns that I wasn’t making sense and was confused, but again at the time this was deemed to be normal.
I stayed in the hospital for three days and was then sent home. Unfortunately, my pain got worse. I had a fever, chills, sweating and flu-like symptoms and the pain in my stomach was unbearable. I was screaming in agony and couldn’t move.
When the midwife came to visit, she told me that I needed to go straight back to the hospital. Once I got there though there was a 10 hour wait without treatment. At the time I didn’t know that I was showing a lot of the clinical signs of sepsis. If I had I would have pushed harder for treatment. Staff did some blood tests but thought that it was probably just trapped wind. It wasn’t until the night shift came on that they started to suspect I had sepsis. They started me on antibiotics and put a catheter in to monitor my urine. Things just kept getting worse though.
After around six or seven days they found abscesses in my abdomen that had developed due to an infection of my C-section incision. They kept me on antibiotics intravenously for days, but I continued to deteriorate further. I couldn’t move and couldn’t even handle my own personal care – Andrew had to do a lot of it. The antibiotics weren’t working so I needed washout surgery [where a wound or joint is cleaned out with sterile fluid] to flush out the infection. During that surgery they discovered that my organs had stuck together – my bowel had stuck to my uterus which was in turn stuck to my abdominal wall. I had developed a lot of adhesions on these organs. They had to get a bowel specialist in to assist with separating my bowel from my uterus. They drained lots of infected fluid and established that some of the tissues had become necrotic [an irreversible situation where tissue starts to die due to a lack of blood circulation]. I had drains put in and a central line fitted, and I was on strong antibiotics for around a week after this, all of which time I spent in hospital.
My mental health severely declined. I was so worried the infection wasn’t going to clear up and that I was going to deteriorate again. I also suffered so much guilt for not being able to care for my son properly. When my partner would bring him to see me, I was too exhausted even to hold him – I would just cry. Things were really bleak – I could see no light at the end of the tunnel and could never imagine getting better. My entrance into motherhood had been so traumatic. I’d missed about a month of his life. I had no bonding time with him, he was a virtual stranger to me. I didn’t get to introduce him to my family; I didn’t do his first feed; I didn’t get skin-to-skin contact; I didn’t get to give him his first bath. It was so hard to deal with. And on top of that I was recovering from this serious illness. I felt like my baby didn’t know who his mum was and that killed me. I’d waited so long for him – he was such a blessing.
Recovery was equally difficult. I had been in bed so long that I ended up with fluid in my lungs and developed a heart murmur, for which I had to have further testing. I had hardly eaten for three weeks so I had lost a lot of weight. I was told that my vitamin-levels were dangerously low due to a lack of nutrition. When I was finally discharged three weeks later, on February 24th, 2022, I was terrified I was going to go home and die. I wasn’t aware at any point during my hospital stay that I had sepsis – staff talked about a wound infection – and I only found out after I left the hospital. I was having chest pains and had a heavy feeling in my chest – I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly. I still felt unwell, run down and exhausted. When I went to see the GP, they told me that it was all normal given that I’d had sepsis. That was such a shock. I also had no idea that it would impact my mental health as much as it did. Everyone was telling me it was normal to feel how I did, considering my circumstances, and that I didn’t need professional help. I wasn’t able to access services to get help as I wasn’t considered to meet their mental health threshold, so I had to struggle in silence.
The whole experience was also so hard on my family. My partner had to look after a newborn for four weeks on his own whilst watching me get worse every day. He must have been so scared and worried that I might die.
Since having sepsis, I’ve continued to struggle with my mental health. I’ve had to have more surgery on my pelvic area and I’m now waiting to find out if the trauma from the infection has made me infertile. I’ve been told I might need IVF to have more children which I find terrifying.
I’ve also had flashbacks to being in the hospital. I hated being constantly touched, woken up and examined. At the time I didn’t even realise how serious it was. I detached myself and didn’t want to talk about it at all, I was struggling so much. Still to this day, if I have to attend any sort of appointment, I panic. I shake and I’m terrified that I’m going to get bad news. I also suffered from postnatal depression. This made me feel so much guilt afterwards because I felt like a failure of a mother. Then I blamed myself because I felt I hadn’t been in the healthiest place when I got pregnant.
The only things that helped me during my recovery were my partner, my own resilience and my drive to be a good mother to my son. I didn’t want to let physical or mental illness beat me. I wanted to be someone my son could be proud of. I completed my foundation year in Health and Social Care whilst recovering and I got accepted into Edge Hill University to study for an integrated Masters in Mental Health Nursing and Social Work, which I am due to finish in 2026. My goal is to help people who are struggling mentally, as I did.
I’m still working on my healing journey. Recovery isn’t linear but I know I can achieve anything I set my mind to. I prove that to myself day after day by showing up for myself. I lost about six stone to improve my health and get my body in better shape. I continuously average first class grades at university. I’m continuing to try and be the best version of myself I can be. I believe there’s happiness for me – I just have to keep going.
I’ve just started a TikTok account, detailing my healing journey following birth trauma and sepsis. I am also going to be giving some talks to health care students and midwives at UCLan (The University of Central Lancashire) on their volunteering committee about how to spot symptoms of sepsis and the impact of sub-optimal care. We will look at how this potentially impacts mental health and the importance of providing compassionate, evidence-based care, with the aim of educating future healthcare professionals. My passion at the moment is to get my voice out there to others so that no one has to suffer what I did and to help others heal from traumatic experiences. I would really like to set up a clinic or group when I graduate to help mothers suffering with their mental health, giving them guidance on how they can heal and providing them with resources to help them with their emotional, physical and social wellbeing.
I have only recently discovered Sepsis Research FEAT, but it has taught me a lot about what I’ve experienced. Knowing that my experience is not uncommon has helped me feel better. My goal has always been to not let trauma define me. I want to turn this horrible experience into something positive for others. I felt so isolated and struggled so much and it was so hard. I want people to know they’re not alone – hence the reason for sharing my story now.
Generally, I want others to know that it’s okay not to be okay. You don’t need to be the best version of yourself all the time – just be kind to yourself.
I want parents to know that they don’t need to feel a certain way after having a baby. There’s no guidebook for parenthood – if you’re struggling that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. Everyone struggles.
And I want sepsis survivors to know that if you feel terrified right now that’s ok too. It’s a scary experience, but you’re strong. Look at everything you’ve already overcome. Ask for help when you need it and don’t give up. Furthermore, if you are unsure about anything, please advocate for yourself! Throughout my whole ordeal I had no idea about sepsis or the symptoms. If I had I would have pushed harder for certain tests and maybe got treated sooner.
Charity Comment:
Leila’s story is indisputably hard to read at points. She has been very honest in detailing the struggles she faced as a new mother, experiencing mental health problems following sepsis and childbirth.
Her desire to help other mothers and healthcare professionals in the wake of her own experience is admirable. As a charity Sepsis Research FEAT is increasingly focused on maternal sepsis. We know that for first-time mothers in particular it is often very difficult indeed to know whether what they are feeling is normal. We want new mothers to be as aware of their own health – be it physical or mental – as they are of their baby’s, to ensure that sepsis is prevented wherever possible and that the outcomes of post-natal sepsis are optimised.
We are so grateful to Leila for sharing her story and wish her and her young family all the very best for the future.