“Something inside kicked in and I fought like hell not to be taken away from my baby. Now I can’t believe how lucky I was.”
I’m Jessica Mills and I’m 31 years old, with two children and from Shrewsbury, and I’ve been asked by Sepsis Research FEAT to talk about my experience of having sepsis. I was diagnosed with the condition on the 27th June 2018. I remember the date so well because at the time I was in hospital in labour giving birth to my first child, Arthur.
Although I am now recovered, I still have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) because of the birth, which was difficult, and the sepsis diagnosis. And my husband, Ryan, also suffered a PTSD-related mental health breakdown due to the experience, around 10 months after the birth.
I had been in slow labour for nearly 50 hours, with little progress, when I started to feel really unwell. It was around the time of the 8am handover and a student midwife noticed a spike in my temperature, which went up to 38 degrees. They administered paracetamol and kept me on close observation, but I continued to deteriorate further and my temperature became even higher. I felt very ill. I felt like I wasn’t even in the room at all but trapped within my brain.
When the obstetric consultant informed me I had sepsis, I was so unwell I couldn’t understand. And at that point I didn’t care – because I was in so much pain, I thought it would be best to die and I really thought that I might.
But I knew I didn’t want to die because I had a newborn to be with. Something inside kicked in and I fought like hell not to be taken away from my baby and put into an induced coma. Now I can’t believe how lucky I was.
It was all very traumatic. I was in hospital for six days and on intravenous antibiotics for three days and oral antibiotics for 14 days. I had very supportive midwives on the postnatal ward, and my husband and mum helped me during the treatment and recovery, but I don’t think I actually processed what had happened to us for a long time.
Ryan couldn’t comprehend the seriousness of the diagnosis at the time and it later affected his mental health. And my mum was very angry and pushed for further analysis about what had happened.
Ryan and I both work in the same school and fortunately our workplace was very understanding and supportive following my sepsis diagnosis.
I hadn’t heard of Sepsis Research FEAT at all until it popped up on Facebook, but I think people should spread the word about sepsis as it’s such a serious condition and can cause so much trauma.
I did not know at the time, but, due to the placenta, my son was born with sepsis too and I have been taking this forward with paediatricians to find out whether there is any long-lasting damage to him.
We have shared our experience of sepsis through our local newspaper, radio and the internet, and my husband has completed a half-marathon for the charity, Mental Health UK, as a thank you for the mental health support he received when he had PTSD and also because he wanted to support other men who experience mental health struggles.
My message about sepsis to anyone out there is, if you think the reason you feel unwell could be due to sepsis, just ask and get the right medical help.
Click here to listen to Jess talk about her terrifying experience of sepsis on her Words of Sepsis podcast.