Hi, I’m Cy and I was asked by Sepsis Research FEAT to put this blog together to share my experience of sepsis and how my son, Oliver, contracted it when he was just 5 weeks old in 2019.  Look out for a new instalment every Monday during Sepsis Awareness Month.

We were very fortunate because Oliver made a full recovery and is now nearly 2 years old, but many parents aren’t so fortunate and our aim with this series of blog posts is to raise more awareness about the dangers of sepsis and avoid more people losing loved ones. We also wanted to share this experience from my perspective as a dad. 

Us dads can feel a lot of pressure to protect everyone and when things like this happen, things that are out of our control, we feel a responsibility to fix it and make sure everyone else is ok. At least, that’s how I know I felt about this experience. But the problem was, I wasn’t ok at all and not for a long time afterward either. 

My hope with these blogs is not only to raise more awareness but to hopefully share another viewpoint and help anyone who may be struggling with something similar.

I have to be honest and say I was massively protective of Oliver from the second he was born. I worried a lot about anything happening to him. I would check him constantly at night, I would ask people to shower and put on clean clothes before coming to our house, I wouldn’t let anyone meet him who had been ill recently…it was a bit much! People would laugh it off and tell me to relax a bit, to just enjoy being a dad rather than worrying so much.

Fast forward to Oliver being 5 weeks old and he wasn’t very well at all. He was quiet, very congested and he looked very lethargic. My wife, Christina, took him to the doctors who told us that he might have a slight infection, so we took him to the walk-in centre. After 3 hours, we were seen by a doctor who examined him and concluded he was congested and prescribed us some nasal spray. We took Oliver home, used the nasal spray every 4 hours as instructed and put him to bed. 

From 1 am until about 3 am the following morning, Oliver was very noisy in his bedside cot, almost moaning. I got up with him and gave him some more nasal spray but he was very clingy to me and his arms flopped at his sides. I tried not to panic but do as the doctor suggested.

I took Oliver downstairs to watch some TV with me, but he wouldn’t let me put him down or move him away from my chest without crying, so I held him close to me until about 7 am when I tried to feed him again and change his nappy. He became very distressed, so I woke Christina and told her something was wrong. She took one look at the way he was breathing and phoned 111 immediately.

I felt panic. I also tried to be rational and tell myself it was nothing serious, just congestion like the doctor said.

Two paramedics came to our house in an ambulance and checked Oliver over.

“His heart rate is slightly elevated, which could indicate a minor infection. You are welcome to jump in with us and get a lift to the hospital to have him checked or you can wait to see your GP later today. But I think you’re just going to be told the same thing.”

I looked at Christina while she thought about it. 

“I want to go to the hospital,” Christina said – thankfully.

Off they went and I walked our daughter, Summer, to school. I kept calm and I told her Oliver likely had a cold and everything would be fine. I got home to a frantic phone call from Christina.

“You need to come now, they’ve rushed him into another room.”

I don’t remember the drive. I remember getting into the reception and being told where Oliver was. When I turned the corner, I saw my little baby on an adult-sized hospital bed with tubes going into his wrist and stickers on his chest to monitor him. I sat next to him and held his hand trying not to sob.

A nurse came over to check on him and began stroking his hair, I was later told by my wife that this was Nurse Ally. He had taken Oliver from Christina and had started treating him as soon as he had looked him over.

We were then moved to the main ward where we were told we would be staying overnight to keep an eye on Oliver. We agreed that I would stay the first night and then Christina would stay the second night, but as Oliver lay there asleep at around midnight, I text Christina asking her to come back. All my confidence as a dad had gone. 

Christina came back and we stayed up until around 1 is. I’d been awake for around 24 hours at this point and asked Christina if she would mind me taking a quick nap.

I believe it was the next day the doctor came to tell us Oliver had contracted sepsis through meningococcal disease.

Two out of every five sepsis cases are in children under 5. Sepsis is indiscriminate and dangerous. We need more research and we need your help to do this. Please click here to donate to Sepsis Research FEAT.

Look out for blog 2 in this series, next week.

Listen to Cy’s Words of Sepsis podcast episode here.